"Good Omens" by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
(Subtitled: "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch")
This may seem an unusual hook to review in a caving journal, but it sheds a surprising amount of light on the bizarre activities which Sometimes go on at Godre Pentre.
The book is best introduced by including an extract from the cast of characters.
Satan. (A Fallen Angel; the Adversary)
Beelzebub. (A Likewise Fallen Angel and Prince of Hell)
Hastur. (A Fallen Angel and Duke of Hell)
Ligur. (Likewise a Fallen Angel and Duke of Hell)
Crowley. (An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards)
One might consider this a mere coincidence if it were not for what follows.
Crowley is apparently 6000 years old and "has dark hair and good cheekbones" (page 2). This explains the hereto inexplicable phenomena of dark hair which occasionally greys before returning to jet black.
The reason for the bodges which constantly occur around the cottage are likewise revealed on page 3 when the origin of the M25 is explained: "It was one of Crowley's better achievements. It had taken years to achieve, and had involved three computer hacks, two break-ins, one minor bribery and, on one wet night when all else had failed, two hours in a squelchy field shifting the marker pegs a few but occultly incredibly significant metres. When Crowley had watched the first thirty-mile-long tailback he'd experienced the lovely warm feeling of a had job well done." A further example is given on page 5 when Crowley boasts of having tied up every portable telephone in London for forty-five minutes during lunchtime, and of having invented both Welsh Language Television and VAT. Further revelations occur on page 8 when we are told that only once has Crowley bought petrol, and that was in 1967.
This should be sufficient to illustrate the tone of the book. The rest provides definitive and irrefutable proof that our Hut Warden is indeed the devil incarnate. Read it if you dare.
Next issue we review 'Mr Crowley' by Ozzic Osborne.